Swirling through all mental processes is a cost-benefit analysis that you are performing inside your own mind constantly, and often barely aware to you consciously.
In business, this process is at its most transparent. People are attempting to figure out how to get more for less in every arena of life, and by understanding that how people evaluate their options is not simply a matter of dollars and cents, but in fact an optimization of daily life, you unlock a great part of the mysteries surrounding human nature.
What those around you are actually doing – semi-consciously – is seeking to optimize their esteem position in the world. By understanding this, you can see new ways to improve your methods for business activity and life in general.
Whether you are your own boss or working for an organization, Esteem Dynamics holds the central keys for how to deal with challenges in this domain of life. This new perspective in psychology helps cue us about what to do in any particular moment
For example, it is useful to know that what sits underneath all arguments is a feeling in each party they are not being fairly valued. This is true whether it is serious argument with your business partner, or whether it is a irritating “discussion” with a colleague. The feelings within arguments that make them unpleasant are being driven by inferences about esteem, or value. If I’m arguing with you, it’s because I feel like you are not giving me appropriate esteem cues. If you do, the “argument” will mysteriously cease, and what we will have is a friendly discussion. Then we can get a problem solved.
Another example of this dynamic is when you are looking for a job. What few people know, and especially job candidates, is that hiring managers are not designed by nature to truly care deeply about the company they work for. Once you understand more clearly that what they really care about is how much esteem you can help them attain, you can smoothly tailor your interview toward their personal goals – and brilliantly out-compete the competition.
This is far different from sheer flattery. This methodology is a much subtler “pinging” of the circuits inside the head of your interviewer that awaken the knowledge and feeling that you are going to work to increase their value, i.e their esteem in the eyes of the company. And thus make them more valuable.
In every arena of life we consider on this site, we confront with openness and honesty the fact that life is inherently competitive, and inherently unfair. These two twin facts of reality are not particularly pleasant, but it can help a great deal to more comfortably face these realities.
It is a competitive problem to get a job. It is a competitive problem to get a customer flow for your business. And it is a competitive problem to be promoted, or sometimes to just hold a valued position. The more you understand about what others really want, the easier it is to give it to them – and the more effective you can be.
A big part of what we offer here are insights designed to help you make better choices as you seek out opportunities in the various marketplaces – whether those “markets” involve business, friendships, romance, or family relationships.
Better choices often means figuring out how to be more valuable to others without self-sacrifice. It means learning how to be more competitive in these key life domains so that you can enjoy your life much more by working a lot smarter, not a lot harder.