If you have a family, it is likely that they are a source of great satisfaction in your life. There is nobody like them. You may have good friends, but family is family, and for some reason, they have a special place in the scheme of our lives. If you have children, there is nobody on Earth more important. Even if you have no children, your family is still your most likely holiday companions and the people we call when the best and worst of life comes our way.
As important as family may be, they come with costs and benefits just like everyone else. Therefore, it is no surprise that family dynamics mimic the dynamics with other relationships, only the stakes are often higher – as the costs and the benefits are greater.
As an example, the frustration you have with your child for not trying their best in school is of an entirely different magnitude than when a co-worker doesn’t get their work done properly and the burden shifts to you. You may might feel put upon and irritated with your co-worker, however you feel much more frustrated with your child, yet feel painfully helpless as the situation continues despite your best efforts to improve it.
As a result, children can feel tremendous pressure from well-meaning but misguided parents who attempt to support their kids into “just doing their best.” Such a seemingly reasonable strategy nearly always backfires, leaving the parents mystified and frustrated, and the children depressed, angry, and uncommunicative.
These situations are common because parents do not understand what goals the children are seeking, and actually rarely know the goals that they themselves are seeking.
With the powerful lens of Esteem Dynamics, these knots can be untangled and the conflicts removed from parent-child relationships. Done with conviction and an understanding of the process, this methodology can set both the parent and the child on a path to excitement and achievement.
Today, blended families are becoming more and more common every day. Our society and the mobility of relationships have made this a reality. The challenges posed by these relationships can be particularly difficult and intense when it comes to fairness about the children. Only through Esteem Dynamics and its simple but elegant logic, can we see why these conflicts are often inevitable and construct healthy relationship habits to diffuse them as or before they arise.
Each person that makes up our family occupies a unique place in our lives. Learning how to set the appropriate boundaries and to gently resolve conflicts can be one of the most important aspects of knowledge we can pursue in the quest for a full and rich family life.